Two day itch

I've gone & World Cup Widowed my blog. While I've been enjoying these wildly unpredictable games, I've been neglecting FEAR ANTS. My other excuse is that it is very hot outside. I can feel the heat pressing down on our home rendering me pantsless and lazy. All I care to do is lie down and watch television and maybe think about the things I need to do. At the very least, I've started a list somewhere.

Right now, at this very moment, I am being tortured by these swollen bites/hives all over the sensitive parts of my body. I am miserable. I am in hell. On Saturday, I went to mum's to pick blueberries. It was already 90 degrees at 8:30 a.m., but I put on bug spray, jeans, and a long sleeve shirt to go pick berries. I left her house happily unscathed. Or so I believed. Yesterday, I broke out in these very large hives that itch so badly. There are no words for this kind of itch. The culprit? Chiggers. I have never been so beat down by bugs before! And apparently, all I can do is rub calamine lotion on them, take a Benadryl when I'm able (not at work), and wait it out. I keep calling my doctor's office and hanging up on them because I'm afraid that they will 1. Tell me that there is nothing to be done and 2. Tell me to grow up. Horrible critters. Related to spiders and scorpions. They can be used in warfare.

UPDATE: After developing a little fever, I decided to call my doctor and set up an appointment. Although there's not much to be done, he just wants to make sure I'm not having a bad allergic reaction and I might get a cortisone shot and/or some prescription strength cream. Frankly, I'd love to just sit in a huge vat of mentholated oatmeal.

I feel like shouting.